What I'd write...

I'll be honest.  I really didn't do very well on my challenge at all.  I didn't suddenly become way more outgoing, meet a perfect stranger and save the day like I was anticipating.  However, I'm glad to say I really did concentrate on how I made the people I came in contact with feel.  It's amazing how many little things exist that can completely change the way you come across.  The tone of your voice, body language, making eye contact, and simply smiling all really make a difference.  I think this little challenge I wrote about last week needs to be more of a lifestyle change, and it's one I'm willing to make.  I just need to use baby steps for now.  

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A month or so ago my uncle found a letter in the basement.  He opened it up and found it had been written by his son, my cousin Kevin, when he was 15 years old.  It was addressed to his future kids.

I never actually read the letter, but from what I heard it was written during a low time for poor young Kevin and he was simply offering his future kids the advice he needed right then.  I found it so tender that during his time of trial he wanted to write and console these future children he loved who didn't even exist yet.


Then it got me thinking.  What would I have to say in a letter like that?

After thinking about it and deciding on some points, I'm realizing it's all advice that I need most or that has helped me immensely.  In fact, I'm realizing it's advice most people my age probably need.  Here's what I came up with...

To Whom I Have Great Concern For:

You have no idea how relieved and happy your Grandma Gibb is that you exist.  I promise to never bombard you with requests for grandchildren of my own.  (Paha, just kidding mom...)

Did you know you matter?  You matter a lot.  People care about you.  You are important and cannot be replaced.  You are far from insignificant.  You have the infinite potential to become and do whatever you set your mind to.  You have the divine power to chose and to act.  You have been given a life of endless possibilities. I hope this makes you excited.  

Did you know you will make mistakes?  In fact, I hope you do and expect it.  Because from these mistakes you can rise from the dust greater than before.  But that is your choice.  It is completely up to you whether or not you move forward, remain where you are, or chose to slowly slide away from the destiny that awaits you.  By learning from and embracing the bitter, you can lengthen your stride and become closer to the sweetness life has to offer.  But like I said before, that is your choice.

Did you know you it's okay to love yourself?  It is perfectly fine to look in the mirror and like what you see.  It is also perfectly fine to recognize your strengths and to be grateful for them.  You have been blessed with a miraculous body that is the outlet to so many sources of joy.  Don't for one minute compare it, criticize it, or abuse it with ill thoughts, ignorant choices, or idleness. Please embrace who you are, inside and out.  Love yourself for all that you are.

Did you know you can expect success?  Do not waste your time and energy stewing over the worst case scenario or failing or messing up miserably.  Fill your mind with the success you want and fill your time with the work it requires.  Leave no room for self doubt in your mind.  Leave no time for wasting in your life.  You are as productive and capable as you allow yourself to think that you are.

Love Gibb-Gibb.

Thoughts and Works.

Remember having "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls stuck in your head?

YO!  I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I WANT, WHAT I REALLY, REALLY WANT!

Or maybe that was just me.  What I'm trying to say is, you know what it feels like to have a song stuck in your head, right?  Stuck so bad it feels like your brain has become a broken record?  Stuck so bad that the lyrics creep into your conversations?  Stuck so bad that it keeps you up at night?  Stuck so bad that it feels like you have some sort of disease?

Well, I'm suffering from this.  I diagnosed myself yesterday.  But I don't have a song stuck in my head.  I have a very random conglomeration of thoughts.  And I'm beginning to see they all link together.  Let me share them with you.

THOUGHT 1.

Two years ago, I was lucky enough to date one of the nicest guys I've ever met.  Fresh off the mission, this boyfriend treated me like porcelain and was continually complimenting every move I made.  One of our favourite pastimes was just sitting and telling stories.  I know it's been two years, and he's got married since, but I can't seem to get one of his stories out of my head.  Teasing himself, he told me about his first week back to school after his mission.  He laughed while expressing how he felt like he HAD to say "Hi" and smile at every single person he passed in the halls.  "Thank goodness I finally realized that I don't."

THOUGHT 2.

It's finally nice enough outside to go running.  I love running outside.  I love it so much it puts me in a good mood.  It puts me in such a good mood that I smile and say "Hi" to the people I run past.  But only because I'm close to them for approximately 5 seconds and then I'm gone.  You see, I'm kinda shy and it's sorta scary to say "Hi" to people.  But I can do it when I'm running.  Is it really that much scarier to say "Hi" to someone when I'm not running?

THOUGHT 3.

I was lucky enough to run into some people this weekend who take the time to read my blog.  I could feel myself blushing as they smothered me with their kind words.  THANK YOU.  It's amazing how good I feel after someone simply tells me they took the time to read my blog, let alone that they liked it.  Is it really that simple to make someone's day?

THOUGHT 4.

All the way back in January, one of my favourite fellow bloggers posted something I've been pondering ever since.  I love reading Chanel's blog, but for some reason her post If I could only see has seriously been weighing on my mind for three months now.  To sum it up, she concludes with saying, "In 5 years I'm probably not going to remember everything a person has said to me or every nice thing they ever did for me, but I will be able to remember the way they made me feel."

THOUGHT 5.

I'm nearing the end of a very stressful semester.  I have so many papers and projects and presentations due in the next week that I have to use all my fingers and some toes to count them.  If I were to sit and dwell on this, I think I could very likely suffer an anxiety attack.  What can I do to keep myself from wallowing in the fact that I have a lot of work to do this week?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Where the heck am I going with this?  Good question.  Let me sum things up.  I'm challenging myself to do something this week.

Link to 1. 

We live in a society where acknowledging the existence of another human being is weird.  We're one of the only species that will go blatantly out of our way to not interact with each other. I don't know why, but in order to follow social norms we must not be social.  I'm definitely guilty of this.

Link to 2.

Us humans are raised to fear each other.  People we don't know are  strangers.  And strangers are the people who break into your house, steal your belongings, kill your brother, and kidnap your baby.  Strangers must be avoided at all costs.  DON'T TALK TO STRANGERS!  Wait, aren't I a stranger to the people who don't know me?  Would I ever even consider doing any of those things to someone?

Link to 3. 

It feels so good to be complimented, or even just acknowledged.  Even on something as little as the words I write.  I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person alive who enjoys being recognized.

Link to 4.

How do I make other people feel?  Do I simply make someone's bad day worse?  Do people dread having me around?  Or am I able to make someone's day a little brighter?

Link to 5.

I can't think of a better way to keep my mind off my own stress than by concentrating more on the people I meet.

And so it is, I'm embarking on a social experiment. 

I plan to spend the next week ignoring social norms and my own fears.  I plan to recognize others and to make them feel good.  I plan to not only survive this final week of the semester, I plan to enjoy it, and I am confident the best way to do this is by focussing on the people I meet and how I make them feel.

Are you up for a challenge too?

A Confession...

I have a guilty pleasure I must confess.  I picked it up from my old roommate Paige.  It all started when she showed me the trailer for this really cool documentary called No Impact Man.  We watched it and it was awesome, so I asked her how she came across it.  She then introduced me to what quickly became my own personal heroin, the Apple Trailers website.


Nowadays, when I find myself trying to procrastinate things like writing a paper, going to bed, or exercising, the Apple Trailers website is there calling for me in all its glory.  This doesn't happen very often, I promise, because they update the list of movies only every two weeks or so.  Nothing can describe the rush of seeing two or three rows of new trailers for me to watch.  What a sweet, sweet rendezvous. 

A current favorite of mine.  

Since being a faithful trailer follower, I have noticed movies come out in trends, just like fashion.  Some recent skinny jeans of the film industry have been romances targeted to teens, full of passion and angst, such as Beastly and Red Riding Hood, and alien action thrillers, like Cowboys vs. Aliens and Battle Los Angeles. A month or so ago I discovered the latest and greatest movie trend.  And it has left a super bad taste in my mouth.  See if you can guess the trend.

Need I show more?  If you guessed that affairs and adultery are the latest film trends, you are correct!  Apparently what the people want to watch in the movie theatres these days is the demise of commitment, the intrigue of infidelity, and the glamour of all that adultery entails.

And things just keep getting better.  I discovered this from a fellow blogger earlier this week.  Have you heard of Ashley Madison?  With the mission statement of "Life is short, have an affair", Ashley Madison is the latest and greatest in online dating, guaranteeing to help you find a cheating partner AND change your life.  No, REALLY?!  

I'm beginning to fear that society thinks betraying trust, breaking vows, and destroying marriages is really cool.  Heck, it's even in that stupid movie trailer I posted above!

I am not married.  But I think I might know why this is happening.  Please enjoy the rock yard analogy, courtesy of Rena Gibb.

The summer after I graduated from high school, my mom and I would go on night time walks.  It was so awesome to enjoy the warm summer nights, walking and talking with my mom.  Almost every night we would pass this one yard and every time we would, I would complain about how ugly I thought it was.  The homeowners had chosen to cover up their entire front yard with red and white shale and landscaping ties.  Not only did it look awful, I felt this sort of landscaping was as good as putting up a sign saying, "Hey everybody, I'm especially lazy!"  I am sure my mom can remember the disgust in my voice as I rambled on about how the only reason someone would put in an "ugly rock yard" is because they were simply too lazy to mow their lawn.  She laughed at me, agreed and then shared some insight that I will never forget.

Rock yards are only going to become more popular.

I was boggled by her thoughts at first, how could more people decide to follow suit with this ugly rock yard?  No way could this ever be a trend!  However, there was more to my mothers logic.  To her, rock yards represented taking the easy way out and she described ways she was already seeing this come to pass.

"Why are less and less people choosing to get married?"

"Why are divorces on the rise?"

"How many kids are people choosing to have these days?"

"Why are people choosing to landscape their yards with these awful rocks?"

Then it all made sense.

Caring for a yard takes a fair bit of work.  You have to fertilize it, water it, and do the awful task of mowing it.  Work takes time, work takes effort, and most of the time, work isn't easy.  So why not bypass all this work by dumping a bunch of rocks on the grass and calling it your yard?

Raising kids takes work.  Why not just have fewer?  Why have any at all?

Marriage takes work.  Why even bother with it?  Why stay married?

My mom taught me a valuable lesson with this analogy.  Some things just aren't worth taking the easy way out.  It is disturbing to see how popular the easy way out is becoming.  To make ourselves not feel so guilty about being lazy, society glamourizes things like not getting married, never having kids, or having an affair. According to Ashley Madison, this is all justified because, life is short, right?  Why not grow old with just your money and toys all by yourself, life is short!  Why not just proclaim yourself as "not a kid person" and buy a couple dogs to keep you company, they'll be pretty fun to have around on Christmas morning, and besides, life is short!  Why not just indulge in a mindless affair instead of reconciling any differences with your spouse, that way you will have a reason to end your marriage, an easy way out, and we're all looking for an easy way out of anything because, life is short!

I don't know about you, but I have a little more self respect than to choose to live my life in the easiest way possible.  People who choose the easy way out are surrendering their most valuable possession, their CHARACTER.  How big of a person does it make you when your life is spent backing down from all the work and opposition you face?