The Little Things.

I once fancied myself a punk rocker.  Like back in grade 8.  I listened to cool bands like Simple Plan and wore a studded belt.  I'll admit straight up I was just copying whatever music Jessica and Tina were listening to.  Jessica introduced me to the glorious AquaBats and the first time I heard Good Charlotte was with Tina.

The other day when I was walking to my car after school, I suddenly remember the good old song "Little Things" by Good Charlotte.  What a great song.  So much angst and teenaged emotion.  So I started thinking about all the little things in my life.  However, as a happy-go-lucky twenty-something they were quite a bit different from the little things in the song.

If I was a punk rocker, the little things I'd be singing about would be something like this:

Chinooks.  The weather has been SO nice this week.  Who knew that a little wind from the west (okay, maybe it's not that little) could make the weather so nice in November!

Doubles on license plates.  They give me a reason to punch someone.  Just kidding, I'm not a violent person, but I love to start games with people and the license plate game is one of my favorite.  

Free parking just a stones throw away from school.  I refuse to pay money for a transient plot of pavement.  The streets of free parking help me get up earlier and give me a little bit of exercise each day.  What a sweet deal!

A cute little house so close to school.  I love where I live.  My roommates are a hoot too!  

Naps.  I haven't had one in a while.  But they're really great.  And I'm a huge creep --- Jon, I took a picture of you while you were sleeping.  Thanks.

Instagram and a phone with a camera.  I suck at taking pictures.  But these two little things are really helping me out.  For example, I never would have stopped on a walk to take a picture of this little saying on the sidewalk, but because it's now so easy to just whip my phone out and then put a spiffy filter on, I feel like a pro photographer.  

I find life just so much more interesting when I let the little things become exciting.  Sometimes you just need to take a second to think about what something as simple as a warm wind from the West does for your life.  Then you can do something crazy and choose to be grateful for it.  It might make each day a little better than the last.

The Game of Life

When I was little, I could spend hours playing this board game.

There was just something so fascinating about driving a miniature car through the maze-like course of years and experiences.  I was absolutely intrigued by the chance you took in drawing three cards to determine your career, your salary, and your home.  It was thrilling to fill your car up with more people pegs: a spouse, a baby boy, a baby girl, and twins!  Basically, I just loved how many ways your "life" could unfold and this board game provided me with the ability to vicariously live out all the possibilities.

Honestly, I don't really know how you win The Game of Life.  Of all the games I play, this is the only one I didn't really play to win.  I guess it probably comes down to who earns the most money, but usually by the time I'd roll into retirement I'd start taking the game down so I could play it again.  I love The Game of Life.

Today, I just plum love life.  

There is just something so fascinating about how the small choices and years come together to shape you into the person you are today.  I am absolutely intrigued by the possibilities and probabilities of where my life can go, what career I might follow, what my salary might be, and what sorts of houses I might live in.  I am thrilled to start figuratively "adding pegs to my car".  

Honestly, for this "game of life" I have an idea on what it means to win and I fully intend to.  A little while ago I blogged about having an eternal perspective, and I believe this is the perspective necessary to pull off a victory.  

So in true dork form, I've began analyzing things.  Critiquing my life.  Grading my progress.  This is what I've come up with.  

While out in Lake Louise last month for the Recreation Summit, there was one afternoon during a plenary address where it suddenly hit me that I needed a life report card.  Like really bad.  And I needed it RIGHT THEN.  I'm sure the other recorders sitting around me thought I must have forgotten to take my Ritalin that morning or that I was just super disrespectful to the speakers, but I couldn't stop myself.  I needed a report card.  Which is where that horrendous looking web diagram comes into play.  

I started by breaking my life down into categories.  Above are the seven categories I decided that cover practically my entire life.  After that I broke them into sub-categories.  And after that I proceeded to go around the entire web diagram assigning a letter grade score to each aspect of my life.  So what, I'm a nerd.  This is what that looked like.

Then those grades averaged to give me a grade on each category.  And then all the categories averaged to give me my overall LIFE GRADE.  Wow... I'm embarrassed putting this on my blog.  I'm beginning to see the magnitude of my nerdery.  But trust me, there is a point to this.  

After receiving grades for the various areas of my life, I realized I was acing the part of my life that doesn't matter all that much, namely, school.  And then I was really, really failing at the parts of my life that matter the most.  This is what my report card looked like:

School	A+
Church	B+
Dreams	D
Friends	C+
Family	C-
Health	B+
Work	C
Kristen Gibb	B-/C+

Now to sum this all up, I guess what I'm trying to say is this.

Life's a game and each must play their part.  Instead of starting out with $25,000 worth of paper money, we're given Time.  Instead of spinning a dial with the numbers 1 through 10, we're given agency.  Instead of following a maze-like course of squares stating the phases of life, we chart our own paths.  You can chose to compete, playing this game like each hour matters, like each relationship you foster counts, and like each piece of knowledge you gain is important.  Or you can chose to drift through, where the days melt together into meaningless and indistinguishable monotony.  Unlike the board game of my childhood, we can only play this game once and then it's all over.  Don't let the real game of life be as meaningless and dull as a board game.  

Decide now what matters.  When I'm old and grey, I'm not going to look back on the entirety of my life and think, I wish I could have had a 4.0 GPA back in college instead of that 3.0 I managed.  I'm going to reminisce about the people I wish I could have known better or the testimony I wish I could have grown stronger.  

Real life can be won.  There just happen to be areas of life that will lead you to a deeper and more meaningful victory.  

Takin' er Easy

I haven't really been making any plans.

Don't get me wrong, plans are good.  Emme, you're completely right.  I guess what I'm trying to do is just chill out a little bit.  And I've done just that the past two days.

I guess the biggest thing I've accomplished since Sunday is just embracing and doing what I want to do, rather than slaving away at what I've convinced myself I need to do.

I'm realizing that more often than not what I need to do doesn't really need to be done at all.  In reality, I didn't need to do any homework on Monday.  So instead, I did what I wanted.  

Turns out what I wanted to do was spend the morning studying current events, watching TED talks, and doing pilates and laundry.  It also turns out that what I wanted to do was spend the afternoon kidnapping my boyfriend and exploring some not-so-abandoned farms north of Calgary (if I would have seen the satellite dish on that house from the road, I never would have wandered into that old farm...).

What I wanted to do today was go buy some books.  I'm only one chapter in and I have a feeling this one might transform me.  

It's literally about just slowing your life down.  We're so caught up in fast forward.  Perhaps this is what  I really meant when I said I wanted to quit planning.  Maybe I just want to slow down.  Here's a snippet:

"Being Slow means that you control the rhythms of your own life.  You decide how fast you have to go in any given context.  If today I want to go fast, I go fast; if tomorrow I want to go slow, I go slow. What we are fighting for is the right to determine our own tempos."

It's amazing to realize the things I've subconsciously been dying to do.  Don't get me wrong, I still take care of what needs to happen.  I studied for and wrote a test this morning.  I did my laundry on Monday.  But since letting my wants have more of a say, I'm finding myself to be more productive.  I'm actually accomplishing more.  Maybe this is what that delicate word "balance" is all about.

I have a favorite saying.  I use it a lot during the summer time.  "CHERISH THIS."  Maybe that's all there is to reducing the amount of planning I do and decreasing the overall speed of my life.  I'm going to CHERISH THIS.  Cherish this semester.  Cherish the snow.  Cherish being 22.  Cherish studying the scriptures.  Cherish reading and learning new things.  Cherish the time spent with family.  Cherish living with roommates.  And best of all, cherish dating.  I think Bob says things best in regards to cherishing dating.  

Cheers to less planning.  Cheers to slowing down.  Cheers to cherishing.

Put The Pen Down.

Setting:  A large, open room in a community centre.  Folding chairs are arranged in a circle in the centre of the room.  Distant and uncomfortable looking people of all ages, genders, and backgrounds sit in these chairs.  They are wearing name tags.  A bold and confident group facilitator stands at the head of the circle.  

Group Facilitator:  Alright, let's get started here.  Welcome to your first Planners Anonymous meeting.  I'm sure we all know why we're here and what we would like to accomplish, so let's not waste any time.  I want to know about each one of you and why you are here seeking help with your planning addiction.  Let's start with you miss, tell us about yourself.

Kristen Gibb:  My name is Kristen Gibb and I am undeniably a chronic, insufferable and helpless PLANNER.  Yes, I have always been this way.  I am guilty of being the kid that would plan how the course of a game of House would unfold.  I am guilty of being the friend that would plan the events of an evening of "hanging out".  I am guilty of being the girl that would plan today, tomorrow, the next day, next month, next year, retirement and so on.  I am guilty of being a planner.  And I am here because I want help in stopping this madness.

Group Facilitator:  Thank you Kristen, I'm sure we can all relate to your sentiments.  Let us continue, sir, tell us about yourself....

Yes, I know there is no such thing as Planners Anonymous.  But there are times that I desperately need an intervention of this sort.  

Yes, I have diagnosed myself with Planner-itis if you will.

As a young girl, I loved to spend hours playing the magnificent game of MASH.  And to be honest, I still sometimes get a kick out of playing it.

As a teenager, I had the course and route of my entire college education mapped out before I had graduated high school.  And to be honest, I even started planning exactly what I wanted after college.

As a young adult, I introduced "the list" into my life, where I would plan each and every single day before going to bed, down to the details of exactly what I would, how much I would drink, how I would exercise, and so on.  And to be honest, the list still makes a debut every so often.

The good news is that I recognize this is a weakness.  And I'm willing to change.  

Earlier this week I realized that extensive, compulsive, and obsessive planning tends to be a barrier or stumbling block more often than not.  Although I do it thinking that I am opening the path to my future, preventing any delays, and avoiding any unexpected events, I'm actually taking away from the present because I'm so distracted with the future.

For example, I find I'm often so caught up with being efficient with school and my homework that I miss out on genuinely participating in my classes and with my classmates.  I'm always thinking of and planning what needs to be done.  I'm so caught up in what will take place next, after that class, after I'm done at the gym, after I'm done my homework, that I miss out on truly being present while I'm doing the actual task at hand.

Another terrible side effect of Planner-itis is how I miss out on the beauty of the unexpected.  For example, dating.  Perhaps I'm a freak, but I'll admit to ending relationships simply because I can't see the guy or the situation or the current route fitting into my plans.  I smother out the potential of the present with a narrow minded dedication to the future and my plans.  But the great thing about dating is that you are constantly filled with the butterflies of not knowing what the future holds for you and special someone.  For me, it's always just been moths nesting on my stone cold insides that are solely focussed on the pursuit of the future and my plans.

So, in an effort to combat my Planner-itis I will plan just one more thing.  I plan to follow this prescription as treatment.

RX:  No plans this week.

No thinking of the future.

And blog about it.

And that is all I plan to do this week.  

Things I Learn In School.

I have been a student for over 15 years of my life.  Long story short, I really like school.  I love to learn, I don't mind studying, and writing papers can even be sort of fun.

Right now I am a university student enrolled in the Bachelor of Business & Entrepreneurship - Sport & Recreation program at Mount Royal University.  I love this program and I love Mount Royal.  

My faculty at Mount Royal is phenomenal.  One of my teachers is the current President of the Canadian Paralympic Committee.  He is so well known and affiliated with everyone in the sport and recreation community that all of us students practically worship him.  Because of him, our classes are littered with guest lecturers; last year we had the privilege of hearing from Patrick Jarvis, a member of the International Olympic Committee.  

A month ago, this amazing teacher of mine was asked to provide three student volunteers to act as recorders at the Canadian National Recreation Summit.  I was fortunate enough to receive his invitation and got to spend four days in the beautiful Lake Louise surrounded by the most intelligent and influential people in my field of study.  There I was required to attend all the speakers, panels, and discussion workshops, where it was my duty to viciously type down all the brilliant and innovative ideas these people had for the future of recreation in Canada.

Since this excellent milestone in my career as a student it feels as if I have learned more in the past few weeks than I have in my entire life.  Allow me to share some of these lessons with you:

1.  The table I want a chair at.
On the first day of the Summit there was an orientation meeting for all the student recorders, discussion workshop facilitators, and Summit planners and organizers.  Like all formal meetings, this one started with introductions.  I was astounded as everyone listed their accomplishments, credentials, and passions.  Hands down I was the smallest and most insignificant person in the room.  Having grown up in a small town and only accomplished two years of my degree I literally had the least to bring to the table.  Surrounding me were grad students, researchers, presidents of organizations, quite literally the best of the best.  I realized that each seat at that table cost a lot to sit at.  It cost years of school.  Hours of networking.  Pages and pages of dissertations, thesis', peer reviewed articles, and academic papers. And days, or probably months, maybe years of time literally spent dedicated and endeavouring in meetings and conferences to make their way to the top in the field of recreation.  Before I could even ask myself whether or not this was a price I wanted to pay, my mind was screaming, "NOOOOOOO!"  While sitting as a student at the table on the top of my future career I realized it's not the table I really want a chair at.  The table I want a chair at is crammed in the corner of a small apartment, doubling as extra counter space, where a young man and I will eat and study our scriptures.  The table I want a chair at is stained by spilled juice and crayons and has booster chairs pulled up to it.  The table I want a chair at will often have the leaf put in to seat neighbours, family, and friends at.  The table I want a chair at will be the hub of activity in "a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God." (D&C 88: 119)

2.  I'd rather blog.
On the last night of the Summit the student recorders were asked to meet together to discuss our observations and write a list of recommendations to present the delegates on the following morning.  This meeting could best be described as the sort of thing that happens in a chicken coop.  Every student was eager beyond belief to share everything they had to say.  Except one.  While everyone was verbally exploding to share their thoughts and make a mark in the proceedings of the Summit, I sat back staring at my watch, counting down the minutes until I could slip away from the cacophony to blog the night away.  I realized that although I may be studying recreation, it's not my biggest passion.  If someone would have told me a year ago how much I would come to love blogging, I would have laughed in their face.  I can't believe how much I love typing out my little epiphanies, whims, and thoughts.  I love learning from the comments people share with me.  I love getting to know and hearing from new people in the blogging community.  I love the kindness of people suggesting that I should write a book.  (What in the world would I write a book on?!)  Long story short, I love blogging more than school.  I'm more passionate about my daily learning and blogging endeavours than sport and recreation.  I just wish I could justify blogging over studying, but I'm just not quite there yet.  Remember, I am a huge nerd and school has always been my biggest passion, so I'm not used to this new discovery.

3.  A B in Stats isn't a B in life.
I wrote a stats midterm yesterday.  Yup, a midterm on a Saturday.  I prepared as much as I could.  I wrote out a lovely formula sheet.  I ate a good breakfast.  And as I wrote the test, I got stumped on a question and wasted all my time on it.  When the teacher told us we had only four minutes left, I realized I had skipped over a question.  Worth over 10 marks.  As I scrambled to finish it, I realized I probably wouldn't be getting the grade I expected or wanted.  My fears were confirmed just minutes ago.  I got a B.  If I would have got a B in High School, I would have cried.  Haha, I'm embarrassed, what a baby!  Fortunately, I've grown up some, gained some confidence, and learned enough about life to realize that the grades I get in school do not reflect the type of person I am or how well I am doing in life.  Don't get me wrong, school is important.  But I'm beginning to realize being happy with who you are, what you're doing, and where you're going is far more important.  Life isn't over when things don't go according to plan.  In fact, life gets better because you are given an opportunity to learn and grow.

Life lessons are the best lessons.  It's just an added bonus that I'm learning these lessons at school.