Here's a Picture… You Filthy Animals.

I'm just kidding.  If you asked or suggested I take a pregnant picture, I really don't think you're a filthy animal.  It just seemed like a great title for a blog post.

Anyways, I hate disclaimers, but I feel like one should go along with this picture because I really don't want to come across as a show off or some kind of snobby pregnant lady.  You see, very, very early on in my pregnancy I decided that the only picture I wanted to have taken would be of me at 9 months pregnant standing on top of a mountain of sorts.  Seems kind of silly, but let me explain.  While growing up I went on a Young Women's hike and a leader I really looked up to told us about her sister-in-law who went on a hike in Waterton when she was 9 months pregnant (… and then she had the baby the next day… fingers crossed).  I guess you could say I've remembered this story ever since and decided way back then that I wanted to be like that pregnant lady.  I wanted to challenge myself and I wanted the "fruit of my labor" to be displayed in a place that I love.  And I really love Waterton.

Today was the first time I've gone back to Waterton in three years since I worked there during the summer of 2011.  Literally, the last time I was in the park was when I worked my last waitressing shift at Zum's and moved to Calgary for school.  Haven't been back since.  As cheesy as it sounds, today was special.  I'm about to embark on the huge, life changing journey of motherhood and I strongly believe that Waterton was the place where I began to blossom into the person that I am today, the person that is going to be responsible for a teeny human being soon.  Waterton's the place where I realized how important it is to love myself.  It's the place that I realized that I was officially an adult and that my childhood had ended (… I can even pinpoint the exact moment of realizing this.  Watching the movie Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part II on opening night in the old Waterton theatre.  A huge part of my childhood wrapped itself up in the place I spent my childhood longing to work).  Long story short, it's just a special place to me (cue Jon making barfing noises … he just doesn't understand).

Anyways, enough of my blabbing.  I know that no one cares, all you people want is a picture of my belly.  So enjoy.

My Parenting Disclaimer

Let the party begin!  I'm officially on Maternity Leave and I've only got two more weeks until my official "calve out" date.  The cradle is set up, the clothes are sorted, and I've got what seems like enough diapers to last for an entire year (… but will probably end up being like a week).  I guess you could say it's go time.

Today at church I got asked if I'm scared for the labour and delivery.  My answer was and still is an ignorantly blissful "no."  How bad can it be?  I survived a month and a half honeymoon of death-stipation and I read the book "Childbirth Without Fear" by Grantly Dick-Read, so obviously I've got everything under control (… said with complete sarcasm and utmost respect for women who have ever been in labour and delivered a baby.  I'm just trying to milk this blissful ignorance for as long as I can).  So yeah, I'm a tough pig and I'm not afraid.

There is something I am afraid of though.  Strange as it may sound, I'm actually quite frightened by the prospect of this…

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You know what I'm talking about?  I am deathly afraid of being zeroed in on by who I'm convinced are the world's biggest bullies: other moms (… you know, the mean judgmental ones).

By no means are ALL other moms bullies.  Just from my own observations, it seems like a good portion somehow expend all the kindness and patience in their bodies on their children and have absolutely none left over for other women doing their darndest to raise kids of their own.  I've heard about these mean moms laughing at moms who have inexpensive strollers or that dress their kids in clothes that aren't brand name.  I've seen these mean moms rip out their claws online and absolutely tear to shreds a complete stranger over the fact that she chose to mother differently.  Heck, I've even felt the heat on this here blog during a pregnancy that ended suddenly.  Can you blame me for being a little apprehensive?

So I've decided to take a stance and stick with it.  You can call it my Parenting Disclaimer, Mantra, or even Style.  I pride myself on blogging honestly and that is not going to change after having a kid, not even if it means I'll be subjecting myself to people like "J."  "J" is a long time anonymous reader of mine who I realized yesterday has only ever made negative comments on this blog.  So I wrote "J" a quick note yesterday after coming across an old comment of theirs and I share it with the intention of sending all meanies on their way.

I'm not going to be a perfect parent.  But I'm also not going to let that fact take away from ANY part of my upcoming experience of motherhood and parenting.  I find it a little sad that such a miraculous part of the human experience has to be tainted by people who are are just plum mean.  Don't they realize that at the end of the day every parent is simply trying to do exactly what they are: their best?  Why then must they beat down and bully?  I'm realizing too that I'm not the only pregnant girl to feel apprehensive.  My pal Laura blogged about her fears of being The Worst Mom and I couldn't help but relate.  So I leave you with the same words I left her… 

So bring on this parenting thing!  I'm going to love every second of it whether the haters want me to or not.

Drowning in Political Correctness

On Wednesday I got to attend a professional development session at work on "inclusion."  Although it meant sitting in a presentation for 3 hours, I was actually a little interested in what was to be said about this topic.  Unfortunately, the good attitude and genuine curiosity I entered the presentation with were completely gone by the end and I left the room feeling like what society is considering "stepping forward" is actually more of a step into a black hole of unnecessary ambiguity, useless complexity, and utter confusion.  Allow me to explain.

A few years ago, Dallin H. Oaks gave a talk called "Balancing Truth and Tolerance" that really resounded with me.  At a time when I was leaving home to go out into the world, it was nice to hear his words explaining how it is possible to cling to the truth I love, yet also be friendly and fair in regards to different beliefs and the people who practice them.  Tolerance was a good thing to have, a virtue even.  John F. Kennedy summed it up with: "Tolerance implies no lack of commitment to one's own beliefs.  Rather it condemns the oppression or persecution of others."  Tolerance meant I could firmly stand for something and still love and care for the people who didn't stand with me.  But not anymore.

Today I learned that tolerance is merely a satisfactory middle ground for those who are civilized enough to step away from stereotypes and oppression, yet haven't been fully converted to the sacred level of Acceptance.  Apparently tolerance is now "so last year," and if you want to be a true spokesperson and model of equality, you need to accept everything out there.  Needless to say, this confuses me immensely.  I guess you could say I was raised in a home and time where standing for something was commendable, whether or not the people around you agreed.  However, today it's commendable to stand for standing for nothing, or rather, to stand for everything.  To me this just isn't standing.  It's more like the action a dandelion seed makes after being blown off the stem: floating, falling, and being blown any which way the breeze demands.

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The next thing I learned about was the "Alphabet Soup" of sexuality.  Apparently the acronym LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans) is no longer inclusive of all the orientations out there.  Nowadays the correct way to include everyone is LGBTTQQI2A, a conglomeration of letters that is continually changing and constantly growing.  Or in other words, confusing.  Don't get me wrong, my heart sincerely goes out to those people who find themselves questioning something so sacred.  However, there's a small part of me that can't help but wonder whether the reason this is being questioned is because there are so many options and because society is almost adamant that one does question this about themselves.

While this was the topic of discussion, a couple mothers of Junior High aged children mentioned that their kids were constantly bombarded at school by their peers over this topic.  "How can you be so sure that you're straight?"  Apparently if you haven't questioned this about yourself, you really can't say that you know.  My rebuttal is that if you're being forced to question something about yourself how can you ever be sure?  I can't help but feel like there is a bit of reverse discrimination happening in this situation.  If I can have tolerance and love for this community of people, why can't they have the same for the people who have never had to question this about themselves?

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The last thing I learned was that many of the seemingly innocent things that I say can be considered "cringe worthy" or "noninclusive."  For example, 

"She is beautiful and smart."

Can you pick out what I did wrong in saying a compliment like this?  Nowadays, pronouns are inching their way to becoming derogatory, because you just don't know if a person wants to be classified by that specific gender pronoun.  So by complimenting a person who appears to be a woman with the pronoun she, I may very well be creating an incredibly awkward situation or insulting them by using a pronoun they don't identify with.  What is the correct way to address people these days?  Stop using he, she, him, and her and begin using a genderless plural pronoun like them and they.  

Next, what is wrong with this statement?

"My husband's name is Jon."

Using the word "husband" obviously, since it denotes that I am in a straight woman married to a straight man.  If I wanted to be truly inclusive with my language in this situation, I would say, "My partner's name is Jon."

Care for another?  I promise this was literally an example used in the presentation:

"Diabetics need to watch their sugar intake."

Obviously it's noninclusive to people who have been diagnosed with diabetes.  The correct way to make this statement is that "Everyone needs to watch their sugar intake."  I can agree that watching what you eat is always a smart thing to do, regardless of your state of health, but let's take a step back here.  Isn't diabetes an actual, diagnosable medical condition that if not treated properly could put a person in a great deal of risk?  As a lifeguard, diabetic coma is a condition we're taught to look for and treat.  Say someone swimming at my place of work begins to experience low blood sugars to the point that they're slipping in and out of consciousness.  How am I supposed to fill in the First Aid Report Form?  How am I supposed to explain the emergency to EMS?  Could society literally be walking in the direction of making it politically incorrect to actually communicate when a person is in danger, simply because naming their condition is "noninclusive?"

I guess this is the part where I just stop talking.

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I guess the bottom line here is that I'm incredibly frustrated by the things presented to me at a "Professional Development."  I can't think of anything more professional than integrity, yet everything that was presented seems to be demanding that I change vital and important things about myself and what I stand for.  And isn't changing for the crowd or what's popular the polar opposite of integrity?  I feel like if I was to have verbally taken a stand back on Wednesday, I would have been shunned out of the room and seen as an incredibly close-minded and archaic person, which is really quite ironic because wouldn't that have been "noninclusive" of everyone else?  I honestly think society is stepping in a direction where values and lifestyles deemed as old-fashioned will be seriously discriminated against.  And what is even more terrifying is that although we live in a world of "equality" and "acceptance," I believe those that try to stand up for their old-fashioned beliefs will be violently reprimanded and accused of being discriminating and non-inclusive.

And so there you have it.  A great big, random rant.  Perhaps I feel so strongly about this because I'm about to have a baby that will soon grow into a kid, who will be eager to learn and gobble up everything about the world they live in.  How in the world am I supposed to teach a kid the difference between tolerance and acceptance; the sanctity of gender and sexuality; and just overall integrity if the world around them is so messed up and confusing?  If you have the answers, please do share.