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31.8.15

Part Six: Summer Dependence

Shortly after graduating high school, I developed a passionate love (... or unhealthy obsession) for those fleeting southern Alberta summer months.  I had always especially loved the summer, but it felt different all of the sudden, stronger maybe.  Perhaps it was because that was the time of year that I could move back to my small town home from the city and sink back into the comforts of a slow and familiar environment.  That's a good enough reason to really, really love a season, right?

With this new found fervor for summer came an equal and opposite reaction to winter.  Being sentenced to life in the city for what felt like a never ending winter each year was the equivalent to hibernating in my books, because it sure wasn't living.

It wasn't long before my love for summer reached new heights, comparable to that of a clingy girlfriend.

PLEASE DON'T GO!!!

LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME!!  I TOLD YOU NOT TO LEAVE!!

I spent the winter months stalking summer.  I reminisced.  I desperately tried to stay in contact with my "summer" friends.  I belittled anything good or fun that occurred during the winter.  And I counted down the days until I would be back with my love.

This all sounds super healthy, right?  Believe it or not, it wasn't.  This was the birth of the very seasonal aspect of my depression.

Seasonal depression, or seasonal affective disorder (SAD), is where it all began for me.  I never learned coping techniques to get me through the winter each year, I just chose to be emo all winter because nobody knew how I felt because nobody could possibly love summer and hate winter as much as I did.  I'm confident that because I never developed any sort of resilience in coping my way through the winter, I set myself up to fall a lot harder when things really hit the fan, or when a real major depressive episode came in like a wrecking ball.  Fortunately, after learning to understand myself and my depression and developing a heck of a lot of resiliency, I feel confident in saying that I have a healthy relationship with summertime.  Don't get me wrong, it's still hands down my favorite season of the year, just now I'm actually able to say I'm "living" during the rest of the year.  And I didn't even feel sad that today was the last day of August.

What do you do during the winter to stay happy?  (That is, if the winter is kind of blah to you too...)
28.8.15

Retirement

If everything goes according to plan, next Friday will be my official last day of work and I will be forever retired... at least until I'm done having kids.

Because I like to be secretive, I haven't really broadcasted the fact that I returned to work back in April.  I did so simply to work a quick 600 hours in order to qualify for another maternity leave.  It's been a tough 4+ months, but I did it!  I have huge respect for working single mothers/just any mother who is required to spend her days out of the home providing an income for her family.

I have to admit, this retirement is going to be a little bittersweet.  You see, I've essentially had the same job for the past 10 years.  My very first job at the sweet, young age of 16 was as a lifeguard.  Today I still work at a pool and I still have the same current certifications, instead, I'm now the BOSS.  And I'm 8 months pregnant with my second child.


I like to think I'm a pretty cool boss.  Did you ever have a boss that suggested having a photo shoot for fun?

To say I've loved being a lifeguard and working at a pool would be a complete understatement.  It's been my passion and I'm a little sad to be leaving it behind.  The funny thing is that had it not been for my mom I would have never become a lifeguard.  Once I finished my swimming lessons she just enrolled me in whatever the next courses were and before I knew it, I was a lifeguard.  I'm so grateful for her foresight; she did this because the best paying job in the small town I grew up in was as a lifeguard.  However, she may have cursed having helped me become a lifeguard when I was a young adult struggling to "launch" and always running back to the pool and failing to come up with a life plan.  Haha, and she probably cursed herself even more when I finally decided what to study in university and it was a degree in Sport & Recreation so that I could continue working at a pool... What can I say?  It was fate!

So I guess you could call this my ode to lifeguarding.  I have a soft spot in my heart for all the pools I've worked at: the old condemned Raymond Pool, the Raymond Aquatic Centre, Westside Recreation, and the Mount Royal Aquatic Centre.  I'm so grateful for all the friendships I was able to cultivate with lifeguarding co-workers.  I will always cherish the memories of crazy guard parties, "breaking" into the pool for midnight swims, teaching swimming lessons, playing pranks, and so on.  I'm so lucky to have found a job that I loved and I'm so grateful for all the awesome memories I'll have from these past 10 years.

Thanks Mom for helping me become a lifeguard!  Sorry if I stayed one longer than you were expecting ;)


















7.8.15

You Named Her What?

If you read this blog, you're probably well acquainted with the fact that I named my daughter Sheriff July.  Yes, her name is Sheriff.  Spelt exactly the same way as an officer of the law.

I'll admit there were some moments within the first few weeks of her life where I started to second guess my love of the name Sheriff.  It starts to wear down your name confidence when every single person seems to need to ask again what her name is, ask how it's spelt, and then proceeds to stand there awkwardly and tell you that's a cool name when they've obviously just been stunned.  Fortunately I got over it.

Last week the province released their official "Baby Names of 2014" list.  A lot of news and media outlets hopped on it as a means of quick and entertaining news, and I don't blame them, I love hearing about names.  And Sheriff got her very first little bit of publicity.

Apparently she's the only "Sheriff" in Alberta.

She made the list of 50 most unique girl names in Alberta.

She was then hand picked from that list by a Calgary DJ with Virgin Radio (probably not because he liked it...)


I'll admit I felt pride in having named my kid something unique.  Hopefully she'll feel the same way as she grows up.  Another fun part of having a kid be on these "lists" is seeing the comments people have.  Thankfully I've reached a point where I don't care what people think about her name, so I found most of these comments quite entertaining.

I may be a self-indulgent "parent," but coming up with Sheriff's name has always felt right.

And so, I leave you with how in the world I picked the name Sheriff July for my daughter.

Once upon a time, I was a young girl of only 18 years of age living in Edmonton.  One Friday afternoon a friend and I explored Whyte Ave where I found a book store.  Although I was a poor college student, I splurged on a book called "The Complete Works of O. Henry."

I remembered reading some of his work in grade seven and having really liked it and the book looked old and vintage-y, so I couldn't resist.  (I guarantee you're familiar with at least one of his short stories, such as "Gift of the Magi" or "The Last Leaf."  One of my personal favourites is "The Cop and the Anthem")

Anyways, while gobbling up his complete works, I came across a western-type short story of O. Henry's that had a character that was none other than.... wait for it.... a sheriff.  I remember stopping where I was in the story and repeating the word over and over in my head.  It sounded right, like it was meant to be a girl's name and I was so surprised I hadn't heard of a girl named Sheriff before.  So I jotted it down on this little slip of paper that I had been keeping names on (admit it, what girl doesn't have one of these lists going?).  That was 7 years ago.  And that name never ever left my list once.  In fact, it has always been at the top.  And now it's the name of my first born.

Where did her middle name come from you ask?  Well, when the reality of actually having a daughter named Sheriff started to blossom, I began to toy with the idea of giving her a middle name inspired by a fictional sheriff.  It didn't take long to remember my most favourite western I've ever watched/read (and probably the only one at that): Lonesome Dove.  Oh how I love Lonesome Dove.  The name of the sheriff in this particular western is July Johnson.  And he is an admirable character at that.  And July is probably my favourite month of the year.  So it all made sense.  And it rolled off the tongue nicely too.

So there you have it, the story of where the heck I got the name Sheriff from and the fact that I'm okay if you don't like it.  In fact, I'd prefer you to not name your kid Sheriff, that way she stays more unique ;)