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29.5.15

I miss blogging.

I used to classify myself as a blogger, however I don't feel like I meet the specifications any longer.  I don't really read other blogs.  I don't blog consistently.  I rarely even look at the thing.  If my blog were a garden, it would look something like this:

x

Neglected.

Why would I let this happen to what used to be one of my most prized possessions?!

When I really sit down and think about it, I come to the conclusion that there is an underlying motive behind the time people invest in their hobbies.  For example, I love to read classic literature.  But when I'm really being honest with myself, a big part of the reason that I love reading these sometimes awfully dry, terribly long, and quite difficult books is because I like to be able to tell people I've read such-and-such.  And I also like to challenge myself!  But I'd be lying if I didn't admit I enjoy the warm flush of pride I feel by saying, "Oh, that book?  Yeah, I've read it."  So there's that.  And I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've lost my motive for blogging.

I used to blog because I was a super emo single adult that wanted to make sense of life and being a grownup.  

Then I started to blog for attention.  Who knew watching the number of followers one had could be such a rush?

Next I blogged because I was super unhappy and homesick and dealing with what was soon to be diagnosed as . . . 

Depression.  I blogged about depression a lot because it consumed me and blogging helped me to fight my way out.

Then I wrote about whatever happened to cross my mind and intrigue me.

And now I just straight up have nothing.  I really have no motive to blog.  And it makes me sad.  Because I wish I did.

Don't get me wrong.  My life is still eventful.  Being a mom is the most work and fun I've ever had.  Motherhood is what consumes me now.  I just don't really have much insight to share on the topic since I'm an amateur and I feel quite strongly that Sheriff's childhood does not belong on the internet. And so I'm silent.

What is your motive for blogging?