Social Media Gaffes

I think I might officially be a grown-up.  Why?  Because I follow Canadian politics.  Which is a huge freaking deal and something to get really amped up about.

Okay fine.  I'll be honest.  Although I do push myself to try and be informed and actually make the effort to vote, what I really relish in during election time are the epic lapses of judgment that come to light due to heightened public scrutiny and the unforgiving evidence a social media account has lurking in the dark and distant past.  Who knew that staying "connected" could come around and bite you in the butt so dang hard?

My personal favourite story of social media betrayal is that of poor Deborah Drever.  Fortunately for Deb (or perhaps unfortunately?), her social media blunders didn't come to light until after she was elected.  Mere hours after the votes were tallied and she was pronounced the new MLA of Calgary-Bow, Deborah's Facebook account revealed her humanity.  And it didn't stop there.  She eventually got thrown out of the NDP caucus after a homophobic picture was found on her personal Instagram account.  Who knew that the posting juvenile actions and jokes on your personal social media accounts would be exhumed by thousands of strangers to your own political damnation?

Ironically enough, a few months after the Alberta provincial election and the embarrassment of MLA Drever, MP candidates for the Canadian federal election are learning their own social media accounts aren't sparkly clean either.  For example:

A Conservative candidate really, really had to go to the bathroom back when he was working as an appliance repairman - and a hidden camera caught him

A young Liberal candidate stepped down after tweets she made when she was between the ages of 15 and 17 came to light

An NDP candidate's husband took a thug picture with some friends and now she's in trouble (oh, and she had a bad day once and vented on Facebook using horrible grammar and swear words)

Oh the humanity!  And I mean that quite literally.  Oh the humanity that social media accounts display and that the public then uses as a perfectly good excuse to start throwing stones.  Because, obviously, no one else has ever done anything quite like these examples.  Don't get me wrong, these examples could potentially have the power to sway my vote, but not because I'd think they were a bad person, simply because I would question their maturity at handling the responsibility of a public office.

With all of this being said, I've decided that I should vet myself here, right now.  I'll probably never run in any sort of election, but with the way things are going it seems like we're all going to start using each other's social media accounts to blackmail everyone anyways.  So I'll just make it easy for my future blackmailers.

My "controversial" blog posts can be found HERE, HERE, HERE, and HERE. Oh and HERE too.

Please forgive me for the following posts I've made on Instagram:

 I apologize for being silly during my Honeymoon and taking a picture pretending to be topless when really I still had my bikini top on behind the coconuts.  Oh, and I'm sorry for wearing a bikini.

I would like to apologize for trespassing.  Because I trespassed on private property to take these pictures.  Sorry.

I apologize for posting a picture of a condom.  I honestly thought this was an ingenious method of applying compression to a really nasty cut.

I'd like to apologize to all Creationists that think Charles Darwin is an evil person, because this Valentine picture I posted refers to his theory of Natural Selection.

Forgive me for posting a hunting picture.  I am sorry for ever killing the twenty something gophers I did that day in a field that was overrun with hundreds.

Lastly, I apologize for posting a picture this gruesome of a dog killing a rabbit.  I realize how disgusting I was for finding it hilarious that our dog literally killed a rabbit on Easter Sunday.

Here are all the horrors hidden deep inside my Facebook account:

I apologize for filming this terrible sock puppet play a couple of my friends did.  And for posting it.

Forgive me for finding it absolutely hilarious to watch my daughter eat a lemon.

I apologize for all the times I have spray painted old sheds on private property.  

 I swear I am not affiliated with any gangs.  I'm only guilty of being the whitest white girl ever and thinking I was pretty bad-A to be throwing down gang signs.

I apologize for taking and posing for pictures that blatantly pointed fun at an ethnic group that obviously has the above pose patented.

I promise this is nothing more than a "Pop-Eye Candy Stick" and not an illicit substance.

I'd like to ask the forgiveness of all animal enthusiasts and PETA for taking part in the domesticating of this raccoon.

And lastly, I'd like to apologize to the Pagan community for dressing up as a witch for a photo shoot with my sisters.

I also apologize for ever making this the caption of my friend swinging around a sign post.

And I am sorry that I had such strong feelings of hatred when Revenue Canada decided to audit my charitable donations during a five year period that I lived in approximately 3 different cities and paid tithing to a million different wards.

I think that is all I have to apologize about.  Well, and there have been several times that I've had to use the bathroom really, really badly and just popped a squat where I was in the great outdoors.  So please forgive me for indecent exposure and relieving myself when I needed to like the poor appliance repairman.

OH - and I don't have a twitter account.  I'm not a twit or whatever you call those twitter users.