Today is July 15th. A little over six months ago I was told that today would be my due date. But it's not anymore. Today is just another day. Sadly enough, I had even forgotten this day until Jon reminded me of it over the weekend.
It's almost surreal to think that the arrival of a baby was once in my cards. There was something inside of me. It was alive and it was growing. But it was also horribly misshapen and undeniably unfit for life on earth.
While going through the heartbreak and sadness back in January, I wrote an unofficial conclusion to my experience. As I began to look forward and move past the trial of miscarriage, the only words of advice I could muster for myself were to have faith and the patience to realize that "the dots will eventually connect."
The dots have connected. It turns out my Father in Heaven had a different change prepared for me at this time. I have recently accepted a job offer and will begin a new challenge and path in life. Although it's not what I initially had in mind for July, I'm grateful for this new opportunity. Starting July 22, I will be the new Aquatic Team Lead at the Mount Royal University Pool. It's a grown-up job. I'll have full-time hours, a salary and benefits.
I'll admit, it's tough to exchange having a baby for a job. I would much rather have the baby. However, I'm a firm believer in The Hourglass Theory. Now just wasn't the right time. It doesn't mean that it never will be. I can be patient and have faith. There will eventually be even more dots and they will connect even better.
It's almost surreal to think that the arrival of a baby was once in my cards. There was something inside of me. It was alive and it was growing. But it was also horribly misshapen and undeniably unfit for life on earth.
While going through the heartbreak and sadness back in January, I wrote an unofficial conclusion to my experience. As I began to look forward and move past the trial of miscarriage, the only words of advice I could muster for myself were to have faith and the patience to realize that "the dots will eventually connect."
The dots have connected. It turns out my Father in Heaven had a different change prepared for me at this time. I have recently accepted a job offer and will begin a new challenge and path in life. Although it's not what I initially had in mind for July, I'm grateful for this new opportunity. Starting July 22, I will be the new Aquatic Team Lead at the Mount Royal University Pool. It's a grown-up job. I'll have full-time hours, a salary and benefits.
I'll admit, it's tough to exchange having a baby for a job. I would much rather have the baby. However, I'm a firm believer in The Hourglass Theory. Now just wasn't the right time. It doesn't mean that it never will be. I can be patient and have faith. There will eventually be even more dots and they will connect even better.
I'm proud of you, K! This is a hard milestone, but still important to recognize. Good on you for counting your blessings and not dwelling in your trials. Your time will come, and patience is so hard, but prayer and faith will get you through. But you know that already, don't you? Lots of love!
ReplyDeleteThat's exciting, Kristen! I sometimes wish I had more behind me before I became a mom, I feel like I should have more knowledge under my belt. Everything you do up until you become a mom one day will just make you an even better one :)
ReplyDeleteWell how the heck am I supposed to read this and not cry? I am sad for your loss, but I am glad you are choosing to be optimistic and move forward. Can I have some of that faith please? Send some my way!
ReplyDeleteYou're such an amazing person. Your faith is inspiring.
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