Last week felt real crumby. No real reason why, but on Sunday both Jon and I admitted to each other we had been feeling down. After church I did a habitual Facebook check and what I found was the "straw that broke the camels back."
A few years ago I helped babysit a young family in my parents ward while I was home for Christmas break. The size of this family merited the need for a couple sitters, which is why I was called in to help a young uncle to the kids. I had a great time. The kids were so well behaved and fun, and there was another adult there to chat with. Turned out the uncle was my age, he knew the guy I was dating at the time, and was just an all around nice guy. The kids loved him and he took such good care of them. I ended up seeing him a few weeks later while visiting the guy I was dating and he was just as friendly and nice. And then I never saw or heard of him again. Until I checked Facebook on Sunday.
I knew I recognized the picture of the guy attached to a news article that appeared on my feed. However, after reading the title of the article, I wanted so badly for the picture to have fooled me; for it to be someone that I didn't know. My fears were quickly confirmed and I instantly felt sick. It turns out the guy I babysat with has been convicted of something pretty awful. And just when I thought I couldn't feel any worse, I started reading the comments people had made on the article.
"He deserves to be publicly hung."
"What a disgusting waste of skin."
"Shoot the sick weirdo!"
Based on the nature of his crime, I guess a certain part of me can understand these reactions. But I still wish that negativity didn't need to be put in writing. Needless to say, after reading all of this I went from feeling crumby to downright discouraged.
It was then that a quiet and simple reminder was placed in my mind that has given me peace since then.
And the fact that it's only fallen makes all the difference.
A few years ago I helped babysit a young family in my parents ward while I was home for Christmas break. The size of this family merited the need for a couple sitters, which is why I was called in to help a young uncle to the kids. I had a great time. The kids were so well behaved and fun, and there was another adult there to chat with. Turned out the uncle was my age, he knew the guy I was dating at the time, and was just an all around nice guy. The kids loved him and he took such good care of them. I ended up seeing him a few weeks later while visiting the guy I was dating and he was just as friendly and nice. And then I never saw or heard of him again. Until I checked Facebook on Sunday.
I knew I recognized the picture of the guy attached to a news article that appeared on my feed. However, after reading the title of the article, I wanted so badly for the picture to have fooled me; for it to be someone that I didn't know. My fears were quickly confirmed and I instantly felt sick. It turns out the guy I babysat with has been convicted of something pretty awful. And just when I thought I couldn't feel any worse, I started reading the comments people had made on the article.
"He deserves to be publicly hung."
"What a disgusting waste of skin."
"Shoot the sick weirdo!"
Based on the nature of his crime, I guess a certain part of me can understand these reactions. But I still wish that negativity didn't need to be put in writing. Needless to say, after reading all of this I went from feeling crumby to downright discouraged.
Here I am. Stuck in a world full of bad people doing bad things and more bad people saying bad things about the former. Why is everything just so hopeless?
It was then that a quiet and simple reminder was placed in my mind that has given me peace since then.
It's not a bad world full of bad people; it's a fallen world full of fallen people.
And the fact that it's only fallen makes all the difference.
Spot on. Thank you for writing this.
ReplyDeleteOh man this is intense. Im sorry for your crumby week! And that event certainly didn't help. But I loved this. Sometimes I feel like this world is just plain awful with so many terrible people. But your message lifted my spirits :)
ReplyDeleteGreat quote. Thanks. I had a similar experience a few years back. I was befriending a new guy in my Saskatoon ward and he seemed so nice. Not my type of guy to date but definitely a guy to be friends with. He asked me out on a date and I said yes. It was a fun date by the river bottom with two of his friends. I remember there being a cute young family and their friends having a picnic by us and their little kids were playing in the water in their undies and I commented to my date about how cute that family was. It was kind of awkward for a moment when he looked away and his friends looked oddly at each other. I didn't think too much on it and we ended up having v a good time. A few weeks later he kinda disappeared and nobody at church knew/would share where he was, I thought maybe he was on a trip he didn't mention. Turns out he was serving time in jail and it was for a internet crime so unthinkable to me. The whole time I'd known him he'd been going through court. It was such an awful feeling to know what he'd done. He didn't end upserving long but when he got out he sent me a poem he wrote for me while he was in jail apologizing for what he'd done. I never did read it and I have never seen him again.I just couldn't be around someone who had done that when I loved kids so much and they are so innocent. To this day it bothers me. I think about it all the time. I was around him a whole bunch and thought he was a neat guy. I think about him sometimes and wonder if he has made it past that dark part of his life and become a better person.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if I should have done different but I don't think I could ever trust him in many different situations.