Girls.

Hi.  

Yeah, I know it's been two weeks.  

But it's because one Sunday I did this - 

Which made me stay up late and feel like this - 

And then a few days later I got on one of these - 

And flew here - 

While there, I spent a lot of time out here - 

Doing this -

And I finished both of these - 

One day I went to a market and shopped at places like this - 

Another day I travelled two hours in a van to check out this - 

But all the while, I felt kinda like this - 

Because I hadn't worked on this - 

So I spent some time just doing this - 

And I kept thinking about what I was reading in this - 

Because it was making me realize why I've always been secretly annoyed with these -

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I don't know why, but as far as I can remember I've been subconsciously estranged from girls.  I played with boys at recess.  I've flirted with boys since Junior High.  And I still find it much easier to make friends that are guys today. 

I've never really been able to explain this strange withdrawal from my gender.  Yet, while reading Emma, many of my arguments and frustrations with the feminine were beautifully illustrated in nearly every single female character in this book.  For example,

The dear Miss Bates 

Chattier than a parrot or a five year old kid with ADD, I wouldn't be surprised if nearly a quarter of this book is composed of her dialogue.  Although all of the characters in this book care for Miss Bates, she was oftentimes the butt of a joke due to her unstoppable mouth.  

I've grown up hearing facts about girls being superior communicators, but these pieces of information were always delivered with the connotation that girls are "big mouths" or "talk too much".  It seems as if many girls are terrified by silence or in love with hearing the sound of their voice.  And just because a few girls are like this, all are stereotypically "chatty".

The heroine Emma Woodhouse

Convinced it is her duty to make desirable matches between the young men and women in Highbury, Emma spends a great deal of time getting in the way of fate.  Throughout the book, Emma's imagination twists a gentleman's glance into a longing look of infatuation, thus creating the endless drama and plot of this novel by leading her friend astray and toying with emotions. 

I've grown up watching TV shows and movies where girls are let down or lead astray by their imaginations.  These plots filled with their actions and emotions have permanently stamped a "drama queen" or "silly girl" title on all females it seems. 

However...

After reading Emma, I've realized I'm not exactly annoyed by girls in general, I'm annoyed with these feminine stereotypes.  I'm annoyed that just because I'm a girl, I'm chatty and drawn to drama.  I'm annoyed that just because I'm a girl, I'm weak and fickle.  I'm annoyed that just because I'm a girl, I'm expected to look and act a certain way.  I know that I'm not, but just because I'm a girl, I'm stereotyped into this two dimensional character with little depth and intelligence.  And because I'm annoyed by all of this, I have unconsciously distanced myself from all girls.

Thank goodness there was one character in this book who depicted a good girl quality.

The motherly Mrs Weston

Introduced as a newly wed, readers soon find out that Mrs Weston had served as Emma's governess while she was growing up.  It also turns out that Emma's mother passed away while she was a young girl, forcing Mrs Weston to assume the role of mother.  Throughout the book, Mrs Weston serves as a mother to many characters, ranging from her new husbands grown son, Mr Churchill, to Emma's friend Harriet, to her new born daughter Anne at the end of the book.  Mrs Weston is the steady, consistent, caring, nurturing, and sacrificing epitome of a mother.

For many girls, nothing comes more naturally than acting as a caregiver and nurturer.  I'll admit that I'm not especially gifted with these tendencies, but like many virtuous traits, it's a work in progress.  Fortunately, I was blessed with a mother much like Mrs Weston, who has sacrificed much and blessed my life with countless hours of service, love, instruction, discipline, work, and play, which has shaped me into the person I am today.  I love my mom and I appreciate her example of motherhood.  And what's more, I'm beginning to realize what a compliment it is that just because I'm a girl, I'm caring and sensitive to the needs of others.  Or at least I'm working on it.