The Little Picture

I like to think that I have an eye for the "Big Picture".

In school I can usually see the finished project as soon as the first assignment is made.  I know exactly how I want things to unfold and exactly how things should look.  

When undertaking big tasks, I am quick to map out all the necessary steps and the most efficient way to complete each one.  Again, I know exactly how I want things to unfold and exactly how things should look.

More often than not, I'm looking ahead.  To the next week, the next month, the next semester, and so on.  And again, I know exactly how I want things to unfold and exactly how things should look.

Usually, I am consciously planning and allocating each hour of my time.  And yet again, I know exactly how I want things to unfold and exactly how things should look.

And then I got engaged and learned a valuable lesson.

I like to think I can handle stress well, but the stress that accompanied the need to plan a wedding was completely unsurmountable.  I was never the girl to dream and plan exactly how I wanted my magical wedding day to unfold.  So when the question was popped, the next step was to literally start planning from scratch.  And I couldn't believe all the things that needed planning.  

"What in sam heck are wedding favors?"

It turns out that the tight ship I run with my daily life, where I am constantly obsessing and picturing that elusive "Big Picture", was enough to push me overboard.  Instead of thinking about and deciding on one thing at a time, for example "find a dress", my mind was amuck with the following:

"find a dress find shoes find jewellery find a hairstyle find a hairpiece be sure to match with Jon order the dress buy the shoes buy the jewellery buy the hairpiece practice the hairstyle figure out a way to match with Jon pick wedding colors look for photographers show favorite photographers to Jon pick a photographer book the photographer make a budget pick bridesmaids pick a maid of honor pick dresses for the bridesmaids make sure the bridesmaids like their dresses order the dresses make sure the dresses fit make sure the dresses match show Jon what you want the groomsmen to wear suggest to Jon what you want him to wear pick a date make sure that everyone can attend on that day make sure we can get married in the temple book the temple take engagement pictures decide what we should wear for the engagement pictures pick our favorite engagement picture decide what the invites should look like make the invites decide who gets invited make the guest list make the family dinner list mail out the invites print extras in case we forgot anyone decide where the family dinner will be should we have a family dinner should we have a reception pick the dang place what if it isn't big enough for everyone should it be adults only what should we feed everyone at the family dinner will everyone be happy if we feed that at the family dinner what should we serve at the reception will everyone be happy if we serve that at the reception who should we invite to the reception again who should we ask to be at the guestbook should we have a receiving line what should we do in Calgary where should the open house be what should we serve at the open house will everyone be able to fit at the open house how can we save more money should we register somewhere what have I forgotten Is everybody happy should I just do what everyone else wants oh yeah and don't forget to pick wedding favors"

And I sincerely wish I was joking about that, but I'm not.  Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that my so-thought talent for being able to see the "Big Picture" nearly institutionalized me.  Thankfully, my wonderful mother stepped in, refusing to let me plan anything, anymore.  Honestly, I think I would have lost 10 years from my life if I had gone on like that until May 4th.

After being fired from planning my own wedding I realized the "Big Picture" is only "Big" because thinking and stewing about it all the time is a "Big Mistake".  And I'm super guilty in more ways than just wedding planning.  I allow myself to be distracted by this terrible "Big Picture" on a daily basis.  And it's actually quite sad.  Because then I miss out on something even better, the "Little Picture".

So, I've decided to take this picture off my wall...

And I'm going to replace it with this one...

And quite frankly, I think the "Little Picture" looks better.