To be completely honest, I can only think of three specific times in my entire life where I was bullied. Once was in High School, once was after High School and once was on my blog. That's hardly anything. For the most part I've been fortunate enough to fly under the radar of these so called "bullies" and live a relatively happy-go-lucky and sheltered life.
When I'm completely honest with myself, I can recollect a small handful of memories that when analyzed by my mature mind in retrospect I can admit that I was a bully. All of these memories take place when I was in school with the last one occurring when I was in grade ten. By no means am I saying that I've been completely innocent of bullying since grade ten. What this means is it might take me ten years of maturing and reflecting to realize that I myself was a bully in more recent circumstances. In fact, as I sit here I'm remembering that I probably could have been classified as a bully as recently as when I was 21 years old.
When I'm brave enough to be painfully honest with myself, I realize that I've probably been an accomplice to bullying much more than I want to determine. However, this sin of mine in playing a part in the bullying of others is not one of commission, it is through omission. My accommodation of bullying does not occur by me proactively participating, but rather through playing the part of an apathetic witness that doesn't want to get involved.
So why the heck am I blubbering on about bullying? Probably because I just watched this movie and it has really struck a chord with me. Please watch it, I guarantee you won't regret it.
If you don't have the time to watch it, let me just quote the best part:
"There is enough heartache and sorrow in this life without our adding to it with our own stubbornness, bitterness and resentment…. Let us be kind, let us forgive, let us talk peacefully with each other, let us do good unto all men."
Although this movie is set in a high school, I strongly believe this behaviour takes place anywhere, even between "grown-ups." My cousin told me of a group of young mothers in her ward who set up a play group for their children once a week where they could sit and visit. When one mother in her early 30's started coming that must not have "fit in", these "ladies" changed the requirements, claiming the play group was only for "mothers under the age of 30."
As bad as bullying hurts when you're a kid, I can vouch that it hurts incredibly bad when you're an adult being bullied by your mature peers. I can't fathom how big of a waste this little movie will be if the adults who watch it leave thinking that this is a great message for kids or that they should pay extra attention to their own children to make sure they're not being bullies. Perhaps bullying has become the plague it is today because people are out there trying to hunt down these pesky bullies while completely neglecting to reflect for a second as to what role they may be playing in the grand scheme of bullying. Change doesn't begin with seeking for the culprit to cut down, it begins when each of us ask ourselves in what way have we been the culprit.
That was a great video and blog :) I was bullied as a kid in Jr High and High School. Nothing crazy, but it still has left me with resonant feelings of insecurities, inadequacies, and suspicion of others. Things I've spend YEARS trying to reconcile and overcome! And that just from a 'watered-down' version of bullying that a lot of people go through. I still feel like I can't talk to people 'cooler' than me, or struggle to even talk/be myself around people I don't know very well paralized by the fear of embarrassing myself. I won't get into details here, for this is neither the time or the place, but the fact of the matter is, these things people said or did that were 'no big deal' or 'just fun' have had a lasting impression on me.
ReplyDeleteBack then, it was just school and church activities. When I was home, away from people I was 'safe'...now...no one is safe. Wherever you go bullying follows you with your technology. Your phones, your facebook, twitter, ect. On top of it all, the things that are said are twice as mean. I have a theory that bullying is projecting your own insecurities towards others. Some do it through action, others through more passive means. I remember writing in my journal super mean things about either myself or people (usually my mom, which I am not proud of to say the least) to vent my frustration, and feelings of inadequacy. Now, kids don't really keep journals as much as they tweet it, facebook status, ect. So what is to stop them from spewing out all those vile thoughts as a vent targeted towards others online instead of in journal form? Teenagers do not act out of sense, and cannot mentally conceptualize consequence of actions. In the development of the brain, we know that teenagers will act out of loyalty before they act out of logic or compassion. Which is why it's so important who we surround ourselves with.
I'm not sure what the solution is, or how to initiate change in individuals but you are completely right that change needs to come from within. All we can really attempt to do is open the eyes of others in hopes that they will see the effects of their actions. To really show that how we act matters, and that good yields goodness, and negativity yields degeneration-both in self and in others. I have tried to live my life seeking first to understand then to be understood, which is quite difficult, and often I fail to live up to that standard. Its incredibly hard to look past your own perceived justifications or intentions for your actions, and to reflect upon how those actions may be interpreted, or received by others.
As always, thank you for your brutal honesty, and clear sense of voice!
You're wonderful! Keep these important blog posts comming! We can all do with a bit of insight and self reflection these days :)
Loved that video. Great thoughts.
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