Day Seven - "Finish"
When Jon wants to tease or bug me he'll say something along the lines of, "Good thing we're done having kids." He knows I want more kids, so I obviously react (I struggle to learn that he wants my reaction and I just should freak out!). What I'm getting at here is how does a couple just KNOW they are FINISHED having kids? I've always dreamed of 6 kids. That's how many kids were in my cousin's family and I was always so jealous of the chaos and people at their house. And I wanted that. I realize the number a teenager may dream or assume she'll have is most likely going to change, but why does it? And how can you make the decision when you're in that place? If you've dreamt of 6 kids, how can you just KNOW that actually all you really want is 3 kids? My guesses would be that you reach the max amount of madness that you can handle, or maybe something out of your control dictates you to make the "finished having kids" decision. I'm only at two kids at the moment. There are days I do feel like my life is going to be the same level of madness for the next 20 years, but then I remember that I grew up and became more independent and my girls will too. I'm really just curious about what the future holds. Will I reach a point where I say, "Actually, 6 kids is absolutely insane, stop now." Will I regret throwing in the towel before reaching 6? Like I'm letting down the younger version of myself? Is there a possibility of hitting 6 kids and still not feeling like we're finished? Now THAT would be insane.
When Jon wants to tease or bug me he'll say something along the lines of, "Good thing we're done having kids." He knows I want more kids, so I obviously react (I struggle to learn that he wants my reaction and I just should freak out!). What I'm getting at here is how does a couple just KNOW they are FINISHED having kids? I've always dreamed of 6 kids. That's how many kids were in my cousin's family and I was always so jealous of the chaos and people at their house. And I wanted that. I realize the number a teenager may dream or assume she'll have is most likely going to change, but why does it? And how can you make the decision when you're in that place? If you've dreamt of 6 kids, how can you just KNOW that actually all you really want is 3 kids? My guesses would be that you reach the max amount of madness that you can handle, or maybe something out of your control dictates you to make the "finished having kids" decision. I'm only at two kids at the moment. There are days I do feel like my life is going to be the same level of madness for the next 20 years, but then I remember that I grew up and became more independent and my girls will too. I'm really just curious about what the future holds. Will I reach a point where I say, "Actually, 6 kids is absolutely insane, stop now." Will I regret throwing in the towel before reaching 6? Like I'm letting down the younger version of myself? Is there a possibility of hitting 6 kids and still not feeling like we're finished? Now THAT would be insane.
HAHAH!! It's like you've read my mind! How DO you know? I still don't.
ReplyDeleteI am at five and still feel unsettled about feeling "done." I'm not sure I ever will feel done. I have also always wanted six kids. Five is insane some days, but not right now. When I wasn't sleeping and trying to get kids out the door for school, it was crazy. But we have a new norm now. Life just ebbs and flows right? Some days are chaotic and some are great. Doesn't matter how many kids you have! I find it easier now with five than I did with three. The older ones take care of the younger ones and even you sometimes! When I was pregnant with Jane I totally relied on Jackson (my oldest) to take over every once in a while. And during my pregnancy I told myself I had to be finished because I couldn't do that to my kids again OR to my body again. If you are going to have six, get going! Do it all in your twenties! having kids in your thirties is quite the challenge! My body has not liked it one bit! Haha! But to answer your question.... who the heck knows what it feels like to be done. Because even though I told myself I was done a few months ago, I am now sleeping through the night again and my life has some sanity back to it. So my brain and heart have already kind of forgotten how hard it was last time. I think I am done. But. Am I? I'm not making sense, am I. This is what five kids does to your brains!
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