I had a bummer moment yesterday. You know, the kind of moment or experience where you lose all hope in humanity; the kind of moment where your emotions go from a fury so strong you could just scream a swear word at a stranger to a sadness so deep you could just sit down and cry.
Jon and I were driving home on a busy road here in Calgary when we noticed a group of people hanging out on a pedestrian overpass holding onto something on the other side. As soon as we passed under, we looked back and immediately regretted it. They were holding a banner and it was huge. It was extremely graphic. It was gory. Most of all, it was absolutely grotesque. I felt sick after looking at it. And in big block letters that were supposed to "justify" such an image it said, "ABORTION KILLS CHILDREN."
In an instant I was thrown back to a couple months ago when my simple blog became a platform for Pro-Lifers to anonymously condemn and harass me in regards to a situation they knew very little about. Although I maintained my cool online and posted what I thought was a graceful and eloquent rebuttal, it still really hurt my feelings to be vilified for making a professionally advised and prayerfully guided decision. However, in addition to being hurt, I was also incredibly confused. You see, if these people disagreed with my decision and wanted to persuade me to follow their philosophy or inform me of the "correct" way to handle such a situation, shouldn't they be kind? Shouldn't they extend a hand of fellowship, share a kind word and engage in an intelligent and informed conversation to explain their point of view and the benefits of it, rather than anonymously criticizing? Isn't it common sense that if you want to gain support, share a message or just make friends in general you should treat them in a kind and compassionate matter? Isn't it obvious that you should make a person feel good about themselves, because ultimately, what a person remembers best is how you make them feel?
Now, don't get me wrong, I think that Pro-Life is a genuinely good cause. I believe in life. Life is a wonderful gift and should be protected when it has the chance of flourishing. Unfortunately, it seems that the loudest advocates of this cause seem to not realize that they could "... catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." Did I feel uplifted and inspired to join the fight against abortion after seeing that banner yesterday? No. Not at all. It made me in a bad mood. I called the cops and reported it. (To which I was informed that they can't do anything because the Supreme Court ruled in favour of the Pro-Lifers "freedom of speech" defence)
I just don't get it; I don't get why the majority of people or organizations share their beliefs through demeaning and offending the people that "don't belong." Don't they realize that the people who "don't belong" or do not know about the group/organization could very well choose to belong and join if they were treated kindly and given a chance to see the positive and beautiful things about that group/organization?
And it goes both ways. I'm not innocent. I belong to an organization that is notorious for [it's members sometimes] forget that kindness really is the best way to spread a message. I belong to a church that I love with all my heart, yet a big part of my heart breaks whenever I hear of my young cousins being bullied because they aren't baptized, youth being pushed away and told they're going to hell because of a small indiscretion, or just any sort of situation where [the people of] my church are the culprit of hurt feelings and unkindness. Isn't the very basis of all religion supposed to be founded on this... ?
So here I am, at the end of just another day feeling sad and disgruntled. I just don't get it, why aren't people nicer? Why? I wish everyone would just follow this...
Jon and I were driving home on a busy road here in Calgary when we noticed a group of people hanging out on a pedestrian overpass holding onto something on the other side. As soon as we passed under, we looked back and immediately regretted it. They were holding a banner and it was huge. It was extremely graphic. It was gory. Most of all, it was absolutely grotesque. I felt sick after looking at it. And in big block letters that were supposed to "justify" such an image it said, "ABORTION KILLS CHILDREN."
Much more tasteful, wouldn't you agree?
In an instant I was thrown back to a couple months ago when my simple blog became a platform for Pro-Lifers to anonymously condemn and harass me in regards to a situation they knew very little about. Although I maintained my cool online and posted what I thought was a graceful and eloquent rebuttal, it still really hurt my feelings to be vilified for making a professionally advised and prayerfully guided decision. However, in addition to being hurt, I was also incredibly confused. You see, if these people disagreed with my decision and wanted to persuade me to follow their philosophy or inform me of the "correct" way to handle such a situation, shouldn't they be kind? Shouldn't they extend a hand of fellowship, share a kind word and engage in an intelligent and informed conversation to explain their point of view and the benefits of it, rather than anonymously criticizing? Isn't it common sense that if you want to gain support, share a message or just make friends in general you should treat them in a kind and compassionate matter? Isn't it obvious that you should make a person feel good about themselves, because ultimately, what a person remembers best is how you make them feel?
This just makes sense, doesn't it?
Now, don't get me wrong, I think that Pro-Life is a genuinely good cause. I believe in life. Life is a wonderful gift and should be protected when it has the chance of flourishing. Unfortunately, it seems that the loudest advocates of this cause seem to not realize that they could "... catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." Did I feel uplifted and inspired to join the fight against abortion after seeing that banner yesterday? No. Not at all. It made me in a bad mood. I called the cops and reported it. (To which I was informed that they can't do anything because the Supreme Court ruled in favour of the Pro-Lifers "freedom of speech" defence)
I just don't get it; I don't get why the majority of people or organizations share their beliefs through demeaning and offending the people that "don't belong." Don't they realize that the people who "don't belong" or do not know about the group/organization could very well choose to belong and join if they were treated kindly and given a chance to see the positive and beautiful things about that group/organization?
And it goes both ways. I'm not innocent. I belong to an organization that is notorious for [it's members sometimes] forget that kindness really is the best way to spread a message. I belong to a church that I love with all my heart, yet a big part of my heart breaks whenever I hear of my young cousins being bullied because they aren't baptized, youth being pushed away and told they're going to hell because of a small indiscretion, or just any sort of situation where [the people of] my church are the culprit of hurt feelings and unkindness. Isn't the very basis of all religion supposed to be founded on this... ?
So here I am, at the end of just another day feeling sad and disgruntled. I just don't get it, why aren't people nicer? Why? I wish everyone would just follow this...
Oh my goodness such a good and inspirational post!!! You are so right! People need to be nicer and more considerate. And can I just say that that last 'To Do List' made me laugh SO HARD! hahahaha
ReplyDeletethis is my biggest pet peeve... i HATE it when people are so quick to judge. it really irks me. nobody is perfect and to treat others as though you have no black dots on your proclaimed white canvas is ridiculous. i will gladly take judgement from someone who has discovered the secret to being perfect in every way. but i'm not getting my hopes up. we all do our best, and that's true perfection.
ReplyDeleteI truly think more people ARE kind. They/we just need to start speaking louder and more often than the unkind ones.
ReplyDeleteI like this. It's totally true. I feel a little bit like a hypocrite now because when all the chaos was happening on my blog, kindness definitely did trump unkindness.
DeleteI think that sometimes there needs to be a slap and then love. I know several pro-abortionist who did not actually know how abortion was carried out. When I explained it to them and showed the graphic images of what occurs they could not believe how actually graphic the procedure is. There is a time and place for everything I think. Abortion is a blessing in some cases and a curse in others. I do not think we can judge anyone for their decisions until we know the full story. Just keep in mind that there will always be people who disagree with you.
ReplyDeleteTouche. Well said too. I know I said I will delete anonymous comments that don't have a name, but this is too wise to delete and I think it makes a valid point. Thanks!
DeleteIt's too bad that people don't realize that the more you fight against something, the more of that thing you are going to get back. There are definitely better ways to handle things and the best way IS to be kind! You are so right.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I would like to say is that when it comes to your statement about the church, remember that the specific situation you mention is not the church, but members of the church who really don't understand the gospel that the church teaches. The gospel the church teaches definitely doesn't encourage its members to be anything but kind to those not of our faith. The gospel is perfect. People are not.
The more I learn and the more experience I gain I realize that I need to live the best life that I can live, set the best example I can, and just LOVE EVERYONE no matter what their life choices, even if I don't agree with them. Live and let live. It's my new motto. It is so easy to get depressed about all the bad in humanity. Just remember to look for all the amazing things that human kind is doing too! The really is a lot of good in the world!
Love ya Kristin! Hold your head up! You are an amazing girl!
Ashley!!! Thank you so much for this!! I completely agree - thank you for correcting my misstatement about people of the church vs the church. It's completely true. And I love your motto. Your comment is beautiful :)
DeleteWhenever I feel this way about humanity, which is probably far too often, I think of a quote from the excellent movie "Pollyanna": "When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will."
ReplyDeleteAshley pretty much took the words out of my mouth. This quote from Jeffrey R. Holland's talk this last conference called "Lord, I believe" also applies:
ReplyDelete"So be kind regarding human frailty—your own as well as that of those who serve with you in a Church led by volunteer, mortal men and women. Except in the case of His only perfect Begotten Son, imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with. That must be terribly frustrating to Him, but He deals with it. So should we. And when you see imperfection, remember that the limitation is not in the divinity of the work. As one gifted writer has suggested, when the infinite fulness is poured forth, it is not the oil’s fault if there is some loss because finite vessels can’t quite contain it all. Those finite vessels include you and me, so be patient and kind and forgiving."
It's still very disheartening when you come across people like you described though. I'm glad you took a stand and reported it to the police. Even though they weren't able to do anything, you did your part. I agree with what BUB said too. A lot of people are good and kind but unfortunately they don't speak up as often. So I refer you to this:
http://pinterest.com/pin/252272016597256286/
Thanks for always speaking your mind and making me think :)
Emme, you're the best. Thanks for that quote and pin on pinterest. Your comments always make me think and rethink what I write.
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